It's Thursday night.... I'll soon be heading to bed. Before I do I really want to hammer out some words. I often think of my writing. I often have things I want to say. I often feel too tired to write those things down.
Lately, since I started jobs and enrollment for school and an extra co-op...I forget to do things. I'm so busy. I have to write it all down and even then I forget. I don't like this new schedule. Not one bit. Just can't sort out what to drop.
Today I found out that a dear lady...someone I've known my whole life...is dying of colon cancer. It was a tough thing to hear. I saw her daughter at the pumpkin patch today and she came over to me. It has been a while since I've seen her. I didn't even recognize her she had changed so much. But when she told me about her mom I started crying and just hugged her tight. Right there...in the middle of the pay line... I didn't care. I hugged her. I cried. She told me the details as she wiped my tears over her mother.
Someone else asked me about my own health... I'm doing ok. I'm working hard. I'm tired...but I feel certain it's just the work and the hours. I am struggling to balance diet and exercise. I've got to work harder on that. I am losing weight. That's a plus. I am TRYING to eat better all the time. I WAS doing better. But I got back to sugar and that tipped me over the edge. SOOOO...it's back to getting off sugar. So hard. Addictive stuff it is. But today I made that choice to work on it again. Because I need to lose more weight. Because I want more energy. Because I don't want to be a slave to diabetes. Because I'd like a mind that's not fuzzy and I'd like to live long.
Attitude...I've not had a great one this week. I've been stressed. I blessed out a woman very completely this week. Did she need it? I'm pretty sure she did. But it wasn't mine to give her. It has cost me the ability to talk to her very much...even though we made peace over it all. You can't go back and fix those things. Not really. Not unless God does it. So watch your words. They are powerful.
Still waiting on those goats to see if they are pregnant. One we feel really could be and another we just have to finish watching her through the possible date, but we have no idea. But...come November...it's breeding time. Maybe even in another two weeks. I've been looking. It seems that Hannah is moving down in her milk production cycle. That's normal. But it's also a cue to me. I don't want to wait too long to have milk again...so I need to get her on that cotton seed mill and salt ....that's supposed to change the chances of a doe being born... supposed to give you a better chance of having one.... I sure hope so. I SOOOO need another milk doe. I really do.
I expect to live long. I just want to write that here. I expect to live long. There are battles in the health realm...but they do, in large part, involve being where God wants. That involves hearing Him and eating and moving and living by faith and obedience. I trust that He's guiding me through this process. While I don't try to create a doctrine here to be debated...I just want to say... I expect to live long. If that changes I'll let you know. Or my family will. But I expect to live long. Never fear. Either way I'll be happy ..... here or there.
I'll be taking a day off soon. I'm not sure which day...but soon. I just need one. In the meantime...This is Goodbye from the Blackberry Patch....We'll be seeing you soon.....